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Ways to Meet Swingers
Swinging, by definition, cannot be done in isolation. So,
the key prerequisite is finding, meeting, and getting to know other
swingers. Once you know a few, meeting other couples should be easy
because swinging is primarily a network activity and swingers are usually
looking to expand their contacts by introducing the new to the veteran and
by encouraging people to bring fresh faces to their social events. But, if
you know no one, you are going to have to summon the courage to initiate
contact on your own.
It may seem less intimidating to get started by
correspondence, but, sooner or later, you'll have to face that first
personal encounter anyway, so we recommend going directly to a gathering
place such as a swinger's bar, club, or
dance. There will be less pressure, more options, and you won't
waste an evening trying to shake someone who wrote you a bunch of
fabrications. And, don't just go once; there will probably be different
people in attendance at different times.
For those who can't find clubs nearby (or can't find
people they like at the clubs) or are simply looking for a new experience,
there are numerous sites on the Internet where you can place and answer
ads to find compatible couples. One advantage of these services is the
possibility of finding partyers who live in locations you are planning to
visit; thus making travel a lot more fun. We offer some advice on creating
effective ads here.
Writing
Effective Ads
If you want to maximize the effectiveness of your ads (and
your responses to other people's ads) you should remember these key
points:
- Include a recent, well-lighted, tasteful picture of
both of you (or one of each of you) that clearly reveals your physiques.
Dress as you would to go on a date or to a party. Any deception here
will be totally self-defeating.
- Describe your personality by saying what you enjoy
doing for entertainment, hobbies, tastes in movies, books, sports,
music, etc. Do not waste time describing your bodies or saying how
attractive you are — you'll probably sound conceited, no one will
believe you, and that's what the picture is for. Besides, everyone has a
different idea of what is "attractive."
- Request a photo (as in point 1) from respondents. If
they don't send one, you are under no obligation to answer.
- Don't place any restrictions or limitations that are
not absolutely necessary. Screening for race, age, experience, sexual
style, etc. is only likely to deter people you really want to meet. (The
decrepit and bizarre ones will pester you anyway.) Besides, as you grow
in swinging, your horizons will broaden and your tastes will change, so
don't typecast people and limit your experiences before you've even seen
a photo.
Contact/Ad Sites on the
Web
It is virtually impossible to say how many swinger-ad
sites there are on the Internet because they come and go so frequently.
Certainly, there are more than any one person could review, and we aren't
claiming that those listed here are "the best" of all available at a given
moment. We have examined many of the most prominent sites, however, and we
list below those that best meet our
criteria.
Quantity vs.
Quality
Many sites claim vast
membership, and it does seem reasonable that the more ads listed the
better the chances of finding compatible couples. Be aware, however, that
quantity is not the same as quality. Some sites, as well as some printed
magazines, have been known to inflate the number of ads by retaining ads
past their expiration dates, inserting fictitious ads, or other devious
practices. We have no evidence that any particular site has done this, but
it's something to keep in mind when evaluating your own
experiences.
Anyway, how many ads a site
carries isn't nearly as important as how attractive the site is to the
sort of folks you seek. A million ads from single guys looking to get laid
would only get in your way if you're a couple seeking other couples. Also,
if the site is so blatant, sexist, or just plain ugly that you feel
embarrassed to be there, what sort of people are you likely to
find?
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