|
Dear L and P,
You ask if it is common to be
turned on by watching your spouse (or primary partner) having sexual
relations with another person. In our experience, many — probably
most — people have exactly that reaction. (But don't expect everyone
to; there are some very active swingers who do not care to party in
the same room with their
spouse.)
Since you say
you enjoy sex with each other in another's presence, we have no
reason to believe that you wouldn't enjoy taking it a step further
and doing a little touching, kissing, and licking with another
couple or person. If that seems cool, and you both are in the mood,
why not let nature take its
course?
And if, for some
reason, things don't develop to your liking, then talk it over,
decide what went wrong, and go on from there. Remember that
literally millions of people do this sort of thing week after week.
Every one of them was nervous their first time, but it's like that
first hill on the roller coaster, real scary getting there, and then
you want to go again and
again.
Some think of
swinging as sharing their partner with others. Some think of
swinging as giving their partner a gift of being with others. We
especially like to think of swinging as a game we play together — on
the same team! So, it isn't he with her and she with him, rather it
is us with them. Of course, you will want to be open to
intimacy with your new friends, but that doesn't mean you can't look
at, touch, and talk with each other as the play
progresses.
If you keep your
sex "together," you'll definitely minimize "the jealousy
thing."
Stay
Playful,
Ed and
Dana |
